Fottie: The Soap Opera of PEPE's Love Life

God, that bear market of 2023 was absolute hell. Everyone was drowning in fear while their portfolios got ripped to shreds. Dreams? Crushed. Hope? Gone.

Then PEPE showed up out of nowhere. Just a stupid frog meme that somehow managed to light up the crypto darkness when we were all contemplating whether to sell our kidneys to cover losses.

Fast forward to 2024's bull run. PEPE's killing it, leading the meme charge. But something felt missing in his life. I mean, even cartoon frogs need love, right? The community started getting weirdly invested in PEPE's personal life—first trying to find him a bestie, which failed spectacularly.

Then someone had the brilliant idea: "LET'S FIND HIM A GIRLFRIEND!" Because apparently that's what crypto has come to—playing matchmaker for fictional amphibians.

The search was on. Community members started stalking Matt Furie's artwork like desperate detectives. They scoured his site, combed through his Twitter, practically turned into digital archaeologists.

And then—EUREKA!—while digging through Furie's NFT collections, they found her: blonde hair, blue eyelashes, and apparently a "frog thottie" (whatever the hell that means). FOTTIE was her name.

How fucking convenient, right? Perfect timing that PEPE's girlfriend appears just when the market's pumping again. Surely this has nothing to do with launching yet another worthless token to capitalize on PEPE's success.

Now FOTTIE exists on the Ethereum blockchain, just like her green boyfriend. Back to the roots, they say. I call it back to the money-grabbing origins.

I've seen less obvious cash grabs from televangelists selling miracle water. But hey, who am I to judge? If people want to throw their money at cartoon frog couples while the market's hot, that's their business.

The whole thing feels like a soap opera written by degens with too much ETH and not enough sense. "Days of Our Frogs," coming to a DEX near you.

Just don't be surprised when this amphibian romance ends in tears.